To simply give a sample, I can give just one or two examples: There was a time in my life when one side of my face was quite soft and good looking, and the other side quite ugly. I could see the different manner in which persons who viewed me from either side of my face evaluated me and my words in totally different ways.

When I spoke to others with my softer facial side in their view, they took me as gullible. When it was my rougher side that was presented, they took me as tough, and possibly a ruffian.

My face had a strange propensity to become quite fair and then switch to quite dark. I am not sure what triggered this machinery. The way the colour difference affected my looks was quite apparent in the way others evaluated me and reacted to me.

I have observed that when my mind is on fire with deep animosities, the face turned dark or black. At times, the presence of certain persons did make my facial complexion go black.

As to looks, I could switch from extreme good looks to extreme ugliness. Involuntarily.

I cannot give more inputs of this kind. Even though there are others. May be there are many others who have similar physical features or ambivalences.

Another life experience was the viewing of my parents’ life. Even though this did give me a lot of inputs, I can’t go into that here. However, the fact that my father was extremely intelligent, but a person who opted out of government service, and that my mother was a person who rose to be the head of government department with a very strange official name of Inspector General, but much below in official status to a police Inspector General was to give me a lot of contradictory experiences for observation.

Beyond that due to this unique background, I was to be quite aware about the fact that Malabar had been a part of the Madras Presidency (one of the three presidencies of British-India). This was to give me more ideas about the way the British-created-bureaucracy was different from the bureaucracies the later to replaced it.

I used to speak about the diabolic nature of Indian languages from a very early age in my life. However, it took me a long time to arrange my thoughts coherently. When I spoke about this at a young age, it had the effect of a caged bird speaking on the theme of freedom. It only provoked a feeling that it was due to some personal weakness that I was talking thus.

However, wherever I lived I used to strive to spread the idea that English could change the nation and its citizens. Yet, at the earlier years, there was a general impression that my ideas were more or less a frank expression for my infatuation with the British. It was very much identified as an apologetic stance to the White skin. I had not much information on the theme to express my stand that Britain cannot be identified with White skin. For White skin is a huge domain consisting of the whole of Europe and many others in the American continent. English is only a minor percentage of this huge domain. Majority of white folks do not know English.

I should not go into more details here. For, I am digressing heavily from my route.

I remember I used to come to our house in a Malabar village, where I have rarely lived, during some holiday seasons. I was young, yet quite well-read in English. However, when the working class persons were inside the compound I used to climb up some tree and look down upon them. At that time, I really couldn’t understand what spurred me to climb trees and not to come down. Many years later I did read about some man who climbed up a tree and refused to come down. I think he was reported as having some mental problem for seeming to avoid social contact.

Now, that statement makes me look backwards. Was I trying to avoid social contact at that time? Well, the answer is that at that time I did not purposefully avoid social contact. Yet, there was something that made me desire to be above the social links of the working class people who were in the compound. The underlying reasons came clear to me only when I had worked on my book: CODES of REALITY! WHAT is LANGUAGE?

The workers were linked to the higher sections of the society by indicant word links which were directed upwards. And the upper sections of the society were linked to them by indicant word links which were directed downwards. The workers on their part formed a web of persons who were all placed in a lower plane. Now, they themselves were linked to each other with a variety of links, some of which pointed upwards and some downwards. This direction component depended on such things as age, gender, physical prowess etc. If I were to mingle with them without maintaining some aura of superiority, I would also be placed amongst these links. This would more or less make me placed in a lower plane in the social section. Some of my family members used to work with seeming vengeance to remove any prop of social elevation I could be assigned in the presence of these workers. For, there was something of a false superiority complex that they sensed in me that needed crushing.

Now, to any other youngster of my age in that vicinity these things would not matter much. For, he or she would be used to these things. And there would be wormholes through which a lower placed person could place himself at a higher plane at any appropriate time. This was by alluding to some superior attributes in terms of social contacts and such things.

However, my issue was that I was not used to these placing done by the Malabar language codes, wherein pejorative placing of youngsters was quite common. Somewhere inside my brain software a spontaneous code for escape from this placing was getting triggered. I simply couldn’t get myself placed thus. For, I saw myself as quite well-informed and quite different in mental calibre from the common worker class of an interior village in Malabar in the year 1978.

I do not know why I wrote the last paragraph here. Maybe it would serve some purpose. I am desperately trying to route my writings towards what I want to say. The issue at hand is that the writing is increasingly going to a section that could be too personal, pertaining to personal experiences. 

A master plagiariser

However, a very famous national leader of India can be described a master plagiariser. For, he literally made it an art and got away with it. I mean none other than Nehru. He sat in a prison in India, where the British kept him, and wrote a lot of contents which later came out in the name of Glimpses of the World History. This book was a very great favourite of mine during my high school days. It literally gave me a very broad idea about world history. [I am not discussing the fantastic ambience of a British-run prison wherein the prisoners can sit and read and write. In India, it would not be termed a prison. Instead it would be called a fabulous holiday resort] 

The 'Maadam' in this video is also part of the looting bureaucracy of India. The mere persons of straw who have taken over from English administrators. They do some some cosmetic level of changes and claim to have changed the nation for the better, when actually their very words of addressing o a common man, makes him a piece of dirt.  

However, it has to be admitted that it was plagiarism made into an art. What had been copied was the idea and much contents of HG Wells’ The Outline of History. Nehru made use of many other books also. This book is a much grand book. However, any content developer can make a better work of any book. I have seen it done when I was in Delhi, and came across the industry of content development. 

Any book or group of books can be rewritten in a much better manner. But that is only plagiarism done with refinement. The question of why the publishers of HG Wells’ book did not go after Nehru for plagiarism can be explained as a repulsion to be seen taunting a ‘great’ leader of a ‘great’ people. For someone would definitely come up with the Racism Card.

In this incident, there is another noteworthy illustration embedded inside. It is with regard to the fact that a person undergoing the ‘terrible’ imprisonment in a British prison in India having the time and freedom to spend time in a fantastic library. And the liberty to write such a huge book. Well, one can only say that getting imprisoned in a British-run jail is far better than being free on the Indian roads. The Maadam in video is also part of the looting bureaucracy of India. Mere persons of straw, who have taken from English administrators. 

There is a man by name Madani undergoing imprisonment in Indian jails for more than eleven years now. He is a political prisoner and none of the charges against him has been proved in court. Even though his crime is ostensibly terrorism, the actual crime he did could be that he addressed Malayalee Police officers without a Saar. It is definitely a much more terrible crime and usually anyone who does it to even a low level Sub Inspector, would get a very defining punishment within seconds.

I speak thus because I have had my own experience with addressing Kerala bureaucrats with a Ningal and not Saar. They try to make one’s life a hell.

Back to CF

Once when speaking about career possibilities, he mentioned that his wife was a general nurse working in the Middle East. He wanted to send his wife to the US and thus immigrate to the US using her citizenship there. However, there was a problem. He said, ‘She does not like the free sex prevalent in the USA. So she is not wiling to go.’

Later, one day he came and told me that now, ‘I have discussed the issues. Now she has no problem with that. She is ready to go to the US’. This last part I added not out any spite, but to focus on the kind of people who now populate the United States of America, which was a nation founded by great thinkers of English nativity.

Another man, another experience

There was another man, a white man of US nationality, but of East European nativity. Name was Scott, I remember. He was an English lecturer in another UAE University. I met in him Abu Dubai very coincidently. I gave him the draft papers of my book. He was quite friendly. However, when I phoned him later after a few days from a very distant location, he seemed quite unfriendly. His first question was: What was an Indian doing such writings about English?

Well, here again there was this issue. When I delivered the draft in his home, I did see some Indian servants there, who moved around in a pose of great subservience. Naturally when they come back to India, they are rich. However, I who did not work in any such levels of subservience was naturally getting money in Indian currency back home. I was then in literal terms poorer than them. However, the East European descended man was frankly distressed by his identification of me with his servants. I cared not to speak to him again. However, my draft writings were with him, with which he was frankly impressed. The year was 1999. I remember him making one very revealing kind of statement. He who must have just arrived in the US a few years back, stated thus: ‘We booted the British!’

Well, these are the kind of people who possibly commented against my writings in the HuffingtonPost.